Day 21 - A Picture of Something That Makes You Happy.

A lot of things make me happy...But I'll go for a more abstract one, rather than the pictures of my friends and family I was going to post...

Image: The Waterboy

I love thunderstorms and I love lightening - I just think it's beautiful and the idea that no one has any control over it is awesome! I could sit and watch lightening for hours =]

Day 20 - Someone You See Yourself Marrying/Being With in the Future...

Pfft... =|

Ian Watkins/Jared Leto/Kenneth Nixon/Benji Madden...Yeah that's about it for the wish list...

Day 19 - Nicknames and Why...

Well...most nicknames just come out of my normal names but shortened...

Loz, Lozza, McKay etc...

I get called Macca from time to time - which came from some mates off my old degree. Not sure why - again, an alternative to McKay I feel =]

And of course - Which I awfully forgot first time round, there is Lauroon - which was given to me by my two beautiful ladies Tayoon and Shanoon =] I love you xxx

Day 18 - Plans/Dreams/Goals

Wow...What a question...

Plans are to finish uni, get a 2:1, get onto the Masters and become a scriptwriter...

Dreams are to be happy, successful and in love...

Goals are similar to the plans...But more goals surround becoming a script writer and all the things that go with it =]

Peace x

Day 17 - Name Someone You'd Like to Swap Lives With For a Day And Why?

I really have no idea...There's no one I'd like to swap places with...I'd like to be a guy for a day though =D

Day 16 - A Picture of Myself

Well, this seems easy enough =]

Day 15 - Put Your iPod on Shuffle and List the First 10 Songs

For the record - don't judge me on what music pops up, I have my guilty pleasures and this is probably not the best thing for me to do!

Line & Sinker - Billy Talent

Face The Strange - Good Charlotte

Strings - Blink 182

Let The Flames Begin - Paramore

Road To No Where - Bullet For My Valentine

It's My Life - Bon Jovi

Obvious - Blink 182

Livin' So Devine - Framing Hanley

American Idiot - Green Day

He Wasn't - Avril Lavigne

Wow...Not too shabby =]

Peace x

Day 14 - A Picture of You and Your Family

I don't actually have one of us all together...That's pretty bad! But here is my family in stages =]

Me & My Mam =]

Me, Dad & Helen - And Wilbert, Helen's boyf =]

Grandparents & Uncle =]

Of course there is Spikey Mikey too (Y)

Day 13 - A Letter To Someone Who Has Hurt You Recently.

A chance to fuck over the people who have upset me...on the internet?! Although tempting, I'm bitch enough to real people, so I'll leave the cyber bitching for another day...

However, something I would like to say. I'm very sick of getting my hopes up and being let down...Without this turning into a full blown 'obvious' rant. I was hurt once before and it's not long since I stopped feeling hate for this person...Now I've let go and don't even care. But then I started feeling something for someone else, and now, I'm going to stop. I'm not being there just when someone wants me to be, maybe I gave them the wrong idea - but I'm worth more than what I felt over those few weeks.

Shit init... Wish things were different, but it isn't even my choice - I'll never let go of the perfect idea, but I know it won't happen.

x

Day 12 - How I Found Out About Blogger & Why I Made a Blog.

Well, I found out about Blogger because In my first year of Journalism we had to make a blog for assessment. I ended up using Tumblr because I liked this one better for my 'personal' blog rather than my uni one.

I made one, of course for the purposes of the assignment, but also, because I wanted somewhere to write. Somewhere to vent my stress and write what I'm thinking...I love my blog =]

Day 11 - Another Picture of You and Mates.

Skeg last April...

And this is a photo from a legendary night last Christmas...

Skeg girls - 5 are my awesome current flatmates, and the other 2 are some other cool people =]

Day 10 - Songs

So, now I have to list songs I listen to when I'm happy, sad, bored, hyped and mad...

Well, when I'm happy I'll listen to anything upbeat...But probably some Billy Talent so I can have a good sing-along...River Below, Lies and Standing in the Rain...And You Me At Six on repeat =D

When I'm sad...Usual stick a bit of Evanescence on...Or just sad songs by my general favourite artists...Hear Me Now and 23 Days by Framing Hanley...White Sparrows by Billy Talent. Maybe Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls but that's a sad song for a whole different reason.

When I'm bored... At the minute I'd probably bang on some Good Charlotte, because it does entertain me, and I'm going to see them in Feb with Framing Hanley and Four Year Strong.

When I'm hyped...If it's not some A Day To Remember, System of a Down or You Me At Six...Then probably a bit of classic dance music, anything bouncy that requires a bob or a mosh along.

And when I'm mad...I'm not too sure... If I'm really mad I'd probably listen to any of the above to draw me out of the bad mood. I'm a bad sulker, if I'm mad I'll sulk in silence until someone cheers me up.

peace x

Day 9 - Something That Has Made Me Proud in the Last Few Days

I don't know about the last few days. I've not done anything to make myself proud.

I guess in general I'm proud of who I am. If we refer back to my day 7 post in which I talked about the bullying I went through growing up, I'm proud I fought through it. Stayed strong, didn't give in and became who I am today. Dealing with that kind of treatment growing up changes anybody, but, as I mentioned, I changed who I was for people that didn't matter - which in turn has made me, possibly more stubborn. Whether that's a good or bad thing I don't know.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I take more time to think about the people that matter, and if people don't matter to me then I don't give them the time of day. I wasted time when I was younger pleasing everyone, but now I focus on the people I care about, my family and friends. I know what makes a real friend now and I try to reflect that in the way I treat mine.

Peace =]

Day 8 - Short Term Goals & Why

Let's see, short term - so I'm guessing the next couple of years.

1. Stick in with uni and get a 2:1 in my degree

2. Get on to a Masters course to improve my chances of getting a job

3. Pass my driving test

4. Get a job - preferably within the scriptwriting industry

I guess that's pretty much my big ones. All fairly self explanatory - be successful and begin my adult life securely - preferably with an income and some independence.

Short and sweet =]

Day 7 - Picture of Someone/Something That's Had a Big Impact on Me

Apologies for missing the weekend - funny how things are forgotten when you go home =/

So, a picture of someone or something that's had a big impact on me...Not really sure to be honest. A lot of things that have happened in my lifetime have had an impact on me, so I'm probably going to go with the biggest one I can think of.

Bullying. This is also the first time I've really openly talked about it, never mind broadcast it on the internet. Growing up I was never overly popular, but I got by, had my group of friends through primary school in Myddle and so on. Everything was fine, then we moved to Wales. What a fucking mistake. I've blocked out most of my memories of the three years we lived there, because it was hell. I went to two different primary schools in the space of a year, bullied for the common reasons, appearance and so on.

But then there was the extra twist, I was English, and everyone else was Welsh. So the evil little school children had another reason to make me feel more inadequate each day. Name calling turned into physical bullying in the playground, even in the classroom, which the teacher - who was also the head master, conveniently didn't notice. Only the NQT who helped out once or twice a week noticed, and informed my parents.

By then I was miserable, bruises covered my back, I'd spent all my break times and lunches in the changing rooms crying, avoiding the other kids so maybe I'd make it through the day without any embarrassment. The day my parents came in to see the NQT was the same day the head claimed non of his lovely students would treat another like that, it was also the day my sister told the big fat vicar that he wasn't God - and the day I was taken out of that school and enrolled in another.

Everything was fine for the rest of my primary education. Then I had to attend secondary school, with the same wankers who'd made me life hell just months before. Now, granted it wasn't as frequent as the bullying before. But it was worse, it was teenage bullying, the nasty, sly, spiteful kind. Being isolated on the bus, having people pretend to be my friends, just to go back to theirs and tell them things I'd said or done, also to get my mobile number, so they could ring me and shout abuse out of school hours. Then, my parents said we were moving to Chesterfield - Thank fuck.

Not to say that this didn't present its problems too, as I was a year 8 coming into a new school. At that time I was alternative, I wore baggy jeans with chains, had a skateboard and never wore make-up. So I got bullied in Hasland for a few months, until I settled and found some half decent people, then everything was okay. But one thing I will never forget is that because of the insecure, inbred wankers that made fun of the way I dressed, I stopped. I dressed like everyone else and that is probably one of my lowest points - because I conformed for someone like that.

Now, life story over. This had a big impact on me because it was the worst time of my life. But unlike so many others, I'm still here to tell the story. I came out of that time stronger, and I'm the person I am today because of that. The most amusing thing? The Welsh girls that made my life miserable have since tried adding me on facebook. Hilarious isn't it? One even sent me a message saying "Oh my God Lauren I can't believe it's you. You look so different now, you're really pretty." Sickening isn't it.

Yeah I have changed, and I've developed a decent punch as well - they better hope I don't run into them one day. I don't forget.

Day 6 - Favourite Superhero and Why.

Well, I'm not a HUGE fan of comic books and superheroes, but I know a few of them. I don't really have a favourite, as I'm not a devoted fan. However, if I had to pick, I would probably pick Batman. And I don't know why, maybe because it's set in GOTHam city... Maybe because it's all a bit dark and sketchy...And the Joker is pretty cool too =]

So yeah, not a great reason why - but it's answered the question =]

Day 5 - A Picture of Somewhere I've Been

Unfortunately I don't have any pictures on this laptop or my facebook of the cool places I've been! So here's one from the internet, but I promise, I really have been there...
Photo: Laura Padgett

Helen, my sister, took me for my 18th birthday. Three days in Rome - it was beautiful! Something I will never forget. And to top this she is taking me to New York this Christmas for my 21st - It is safe to say I really do have the best sister ever, and I am a very, VERY lucky girl =]

Day 4 - A Habit I Wish I Didn't Have

There are the obvious ones, but they are also the common ones...I wish I didn't bite my nails, wish I didn't smoke and so on. So in the interests of not being boring, I'm going to take this question a little deeper. And interpret it to be a characteristic I wish I didn't have...

I over-think. Who knew that thinking too much could be bad for you? I over-think situations I am in, situations I want to be in and ones that haven't even happened. Alongside ones which will never happen but I think about it just in case, so I know what I'd do if it did happen. Now, doesn't really seem like a bad thing, could cast it off as just being prepared, organised, thoughtful. Wrong. I make a conscious effort to wear my heart on my sleeve, and not shy away from true feelings because that only makes things worse in the long run. Therefore, by over-thinking silly situations, reading too far in to peoples behaviour and looking for alternate meanings behind peoples language, I just fuck myself over.

We all know life is complicated, people are complicated. But sometimes things can be just as simple as they seem. I never look at it that way, I'm always waiting for the ulterior motive to come out. I'm not always right, which is why this is a habit I wish I didn't have. But once or twice it has served in my favour.

Peace x

Day 3 - A Photo of Myself & Friends

Well, I don't actually have a photo involving the relevant people. I was tempted to put up a massive group picture, but my facebook is littered with them. So here's a couple of pics with the most important people on.

My beautiful Lincoln girls, flat 37 ...

My beautiful Tayoon & Shanoon - Apart from family, they're the only reason I miss home...

This is not to say anyone not in the above is not as important, people know if they're my friend or not and how awesome they are if they are =]

Day 2 - The Meaning Behind Your Blog's Name

Well, The Faith&Venom part was quite random...I wanted it to be quite dreamy, and both the words make me visualise a fantasy world. It was also the idea of opposing words to illustrate my nature in a way, I guess the idea that I oppose people when they try to change me - as everyone does/should. And that I'm not a stereotype, even if I look like one.

The actual name, Younger Minds Think Alike, was derived from You Me At Six's song Jealous Minds Think Alike. For 2 reasons, because YM@6 are fucking amazing, and I bum them. And also because I think it's a true statement, younger minds DO think alike, it's symbolic of the changing world, and how young minds are growing up in a different society, whereas older minds are stuck in their ways. It's my little way of showing the divide between the old and young generations, and obviously as my blog is filled with ideas, rants and language of a young person it seemed fitting...Hoping that anyone else reading would understand also.

Peace =]

30 Day Challenge - Day 1

Well, I have reached the plateau of boredom, and have noticed a few stories in my newsfeed of 30-day blog challenges, all of which are slightly different but look quite cool. So I have stolen the one either chosen, or maybe invented, by Nikki. Hey, if you're reading this - which you probably will when you start getting stories in your newsfeed that maybe cause an episode or two of deja vu :)

Day 1 - 15 facts about yourself...

1. I have constantly changing hair colour.

2. I get bored very easily - which doesn't do my bank balance any favours.

3. I love rock and alternative music, but have my guilty pleasures like anyone else.

4. I'm a third Geordie, a third Scottish and a third Yorkshire.

5. I support Newcastle United and become male when watching football.

6. I have 4 tattoos, soon to be more - but they will always be somewhere I can conceal them.

7. I have 16 piercings.

8. If someone tries to change me, I fight even harder in the opposite direction.

9. I have size 7 feet, which upsets me greatly.

10. I have a bent toe on my right foot, I was embarrassed but now I embrace it.

11. Pink and black, or purple and black, are my favourite two colours to put together.

12. I've never been on a 'real' date.

13. I've lived in Yorkshire, Shropshire, Wales, Derbyshire, and spent many summers in Newcastle.

14. I love art and poetry.

15. I always wear my heart on my sleeve.

A recent picture of myself...

Student Protests, Good Charlotte & Dreams...

I must open with a little summary of my feelings toward the recent student protests in London. Now, the Tories are c***s, we all know this, doesn't mean I condone such behaviour as throwing fire extinguishers at police. Which, by the way, was badly received by the protesters in the courtyard. Who went on to boo the people that threw it, so just for all those that think all students are crazed cop-killers now - we're not!

At first I was slightly taken aback by the events of 10/11/11, originally thinking that the acts by the anarchists and those who weren't even students would simply make the demonstration a mockery. However, given time to reflect on it and witness the media aftermath, I think it was the best damn thing they could have done. I was originally supposed to be going on the protest, I can't describe how gutted I am I didn't end up going! But, to put it into a short few sentences; The powers in this country have never listened to peaceful protests in the past, and if they have it's been a rare occurrence.

What those in favour of the tuition fee rise aren't understanding is that it's going to cost the best part of £10,000 a year for higher education... That's £30,000 over the standard 3 year course. Add onto that a standard maintenance loan of say, about £4000. £12,000 over 3 years. Not to mention the credit cards and overdrafts students commonly max to simply survive. Over £42,000 worth of debt - and that's supposing they don't continue on to a Masters or another branch of HE. What NORMAL family in this day and age can afford that much money and debt? As always, making the rich, richer and the poor, poorer.

I for one will be behind the students every step of the way, and will be at the next protest! As I'm sure many more are to come! F**k Parliament.

Now, onto a lighter note, as I bop along to some classic Good Charlotte. I must admit, I do love them :). Funnily enough, when I was younger I fancied Joel, like everyone else. But as I've gotten older, more alternative, and found piercings and tattoo's more attractive, I must say - Benji is looking HOT! And this transition has made me feel old! 11/2/11 - Good Charlotte, Framing Hanley (who's sexy lead singer you can see below) and Four Year Strong.

Picture: JadedDelilah

This is going to be an awesome gig, cannot wait - It'll be like I'm a little 13-year old mosher again. Wearing baggy jeans with chains hanging off them, skater tops and carrying around a skateboard even though I could only balance for a few minutes and do an ollie :). Leeds won't know what's hit it when myself, Tay, Sophie & Sophie and Emilie take it down. Roll on February!

Finally, I have been prompted to begin thinking properly about my future. Due to a gay little assignment about CVs and action plans. I've decided I want to be a writer, script & book to be precise. It's been something I've always done and enjoyed, as opposed to crazes that lasted for a few weeks before I grew bored of them. However, in choosing my dream, I've managed to choose one of the most competitive and difficult industries to get in to. Not only is it the ever advancing and growing media industry, it's scriptwriting. And there's never a job advertisement for a script writer. Which goes on to mean that I need to be willing to do freelance for the foreseeable future, which is fine, it's doable. Just means I need to start building up a portfolio NOW, and getting myself into competitions and sending in my scripts producers to start getting an idea of where I stand.

So, in conclusion, ladies and jellyspoons (Got to love a bit of Eddie on a Sunday afternoon). I need to pretty much get my arse into gear, start writing in my free time instead of being a facebook whore or designing tattoos. In general - incase you were wondering - life is okay, not great - because let's face it I'm skint, unemployed and have a billion and one things I should be doing instead of this. But all is well, it is 40 days, 10 hours and 5 minutes until christmas day - as it stands. I get to go to New York in between Christmas and New Year and that's f*****g amazing! And I have a sexy MacBook Pro on which I am typing, ever so lovingly.

Right, I'm off to find a free website to begin the showcasing of my awesome writing skills ;)

Picture: Nick J Webb

And So The Dark Cloud Descends...

"White sparrows fell from Heaven and carried her away, Black arrows cut the strings of my heart, I kneel and pray".

Billy Talent

It's quite hard for me to put into words what is actually bothering me. Because by my own traditional standards - if we're going down this route - I'm genuinely on a high. But to be honest, things are niggling at me and it's getting increasingly hard to ignore them.

For starters I'm almost falling behind with uni, but that's because I've had an emotionally up and down week, and the thought of 'Analysing and Working in Media Industries' and 'Representing Reality' made me thoroughly ill! The point is, I'm flying through my script, and my documentary is developing well...So uni isn't my greatest peeve at the moment.

Okay then, cut to the chase. Head-fucked. Without naming names, even though it's completely obvious who I mean if anyone I'm close with reads this. But who reads these silly little posts eh? I guess it wouldn't matter if I broadcast names, pictures or bloody mobile numbers on here. No one would be any the wiser!

Basically I really don't know how I'm supposed to feel right now. Nor do I have any inkling of what the person concerned is thinking, feeling, wanting... And to be honest, I don't think I'm ever going to find out. Which is really shit, but I guess that happens, right?

In all honesty, I'm just trying to lose myself in my character, Lola. Things are so much worse for her that I guess I should be grateful! I swore to myself I wouldn't get myself into a situation like this, EVER AGAIN. But silly, naive me has gone and done it again. It doesn't help that people around me are either annoying the fuck out of me, or going through stuff also - which I'm scared is going to have an adverse effect on me. I must also stress that the aforementioned fuckwits are not my flatmates...Incase one of you have found your way here.

Well. I guess that's it for now. Not a happy Lauren at this moment in time, but I have my early birthday this weekend, Jared Leto's beautiful face in 2 days, and Halloween for my belated birthday in two weeks =].

Over&Out

Refreshers (Y)

Apologies for neglecting you; and my 2...maybe 3 readers for months on end! I have been prompted to give you some attention my dear blog/rant page - so here goes =]

Summer was amazing in some ways, and horrific in others! Spent lots of time with some very beautiful people, who I miss very much right now - but it was also Chesterfield...So that statement covers the horrific part ;) To quote a certain Mr Mathers - "It feels so good to be back!". Okay that was really lame but when I typed it the first time I heard him sing it in my head - so it had to be done! Anyway, I'm back and raring to go - new degree, new people, new times!

It is currently Wednesday morning of Freshers Week - or the term that I've coined for it for non-freshers, Refreshers Week =] Aren't I just cringe-worthy?! And, you guessed it, I'm severely hungover - as Wednesday mornings come after CUBES TUESDAYS! What an immense night though! Very much missed that place, however Corp in Sheffield did fill the void for a while =]

To sum up last night in a few hazy flashbacks? Ring of Fire, cheap Malibu, spiders, impressions of bugs, pictures, 'Cubes, SAMBUCA! Poppins and broken lift. Good times =] and plenty more to come I should hope!

So this, again, was only a small post - I don't have alot to tell you! But I shall try to not neglect you as much in the future - My beautiful Emo rant page ;)

Peace x

I'm Suicidal - Get Me Out of Here!!!

Ok, Chesterfield was fun for like, 2 weeks. But it really is a foul, skanky, gross, shitty little town.

I genuinely miss it when at uni, simply because I go gay and get a little homesick now and again. but I've been back about 5 weeks now, and I'm miserable as sin! Don't get me wrong, loving seeing my family again, and friends. But some people really are starting to grind my gears! And if I don't escape from here soon then I'll be in the papers! And not in a good way!

Basically, there are too many ghosts here. People that should be out of my life completely, but still stick around for unknown reasons. And of course it's very difficult to get rid of an unwanted ghost. and if it isn't some jackass from my past bothering me, it's one of Chesterfield's many chavs! Mainly the knocked up ones! Acting like little brats, thinking they're better than you...At least until you say; "Darling, spell 'education'?". Twats.

Ok so this is totally a moany entry, but I'm going insane! So I guess the moral of this story is...Despite missing something, you could want to burn it down after a few weeks...

GET ME BACK TO LINCOLN!!!!!

Post-Download Blues...

Well, it's over. £400 later, the 5 day Download experience is over. And it was fucking amazing!

Of course, not without it's bad points, lugging shit-loads of luggage around in the mud, trying to find our friends and campsite. Adjusting to life in a tent and the use of portaloos.

However, all in all - absolutely immense 5 days! Saw some legends of the rock world, AC/DC, Aerosmith, Rage and so on...Then some of my guilty pleasures...Flyleaf, 30STM. And some amazing current bands, HIM, Five Finger Death Punch and Deftones. Not to mention the other bizillion bands!

Definitely good to be home, eating hot food, sleeping in a real bed and other such home comforts =] So I do feel I must write a paragraph simply summing up the 5 days;

Mud, rain, laughs, megaphones, strongbow, budwiser, rubbish piles AKA shag piles, tripwires, freezing nights, scolding mornings, Auchwitz supermarket, Nazi's in towers, treks to the arena, £10 programmes just for the neck thing, soya burgers, food off the floor, people sitting on your knee, mosh pits, crowd surfing, crowd surfers on my head, piss in cups, suffocation (no breathing), Limp Bizkit nextdoor, KILLING IN THE PLANEEEEE OF!!!! Show us your growler, freaky Scottish folk, I'M A FUCKING SCOUSER, MOVE! (Twat), More rain, dry clothes, campsite neighbours, playing cards, mood lighting lantern, impossible batteries, broken chairs, half-inched stock-barrows, 4 hours waiting by the road, picked up with a flask of tea and pizza, home, shower, food, bed! And of course - fucking awesome music!!!!!!

S'all guys =] Peace x

Fresher's Finishes...

And so my first year at uni is almost finished. Last exam tomorrow, then back to glorious Chesterfield on Friday.

There's been ups and downs...tears and laughter...all the other emotional bullshit I'm supposed to write about it. In all honesty, it's been fucking amazing! And next year will be just the same - except with a different course!

Not really a great deal to write about, I realise I have neglected this poor blog for over a month now. So the least I could do is write a small post =]

The most exciting thing in my life right now? Download Festival in 8 days =D - cannot even describe how mental it is going to be! Not to mention how much money I'm going to spend before I even get there! Bad times! At least I have the whole summer to replace my poor overdraft! Hello bar work, stinking of beer and dealing with drunken perverts again! How I've missed the pub trade!

Well, I guess I've procrastinated enough. Best get back to memorising my answers for the Public Administration exam tomorrow afternoon!

Peace out ;)

Feel shit? Buy a TV!

As the title denotes...We all do silly things when we're not feeling ourselves. And since the double vodka and tequila slammer didn't help this afternoon, it's going to have to be retail therapy.

Not a great deal has changed since my last post. Although I'm definitely switching from TV to radio. Totally cannot be arsed with being told how I should look.

So, went filming today. And the weather was lovely, so lovely in fact, that it totally fucked up my filming! It was far too bright, god knows what I filmed! So all is shit in Macca Land today.

However, as I've been 'umming' and 'arring' for ages about buying a TV, I thought fuck it. And bought one about 10 minutes ago. My overdraft could've done without the £119.85 dent in it. But I guess I just can't have a social life anymore. Which bodes well for me as I am going to fail at uni, and indeed life, if I don't get my head down.

Just a short update really, as I can't be arsed with writing anymore. Bad times I know!

I will definitely update you (you, being whoever reads this - if anybody!) when something good happens to me =]

Laters xx

Down With The Stereotype!

Just let me get one thing straight. I'm not great at history, but people protested for rights? Like the suffragettes for Women's rights and stuff. So why do I still feel like I'm being ushered into becoming a perfect person, and not who I want to be?

Now I know this sounds like a 'drunken rant' - it really isn't. I'm FAR too sober actually. Could definitely do with a bottle of vodka handy. But I'm hitting the town tomorrow night, so I'll wait =]

Basically a few home truths have just dawned on me. And it's not great.

I do journalism, as you should know if you've bothered to cast your eyes to the right of the screen. And well, TV is kind of my strongest aspect of the course so far. And to be on the television you can't really have any individuality in the form of body piercings, tattoos or other pre-judged body modifications.

Which sucks for me, as I've spent the last 4 years of my life totally defying everything an adult has told me. And doing exactly what I've been told not to do. So as you can imagine, moving away to attend uni was fucking awesome for becoming myself =].

But it is dawning on me that I may have picked one of the most strict degrees ever. And this is getting me slightly down. Mainly because I was told I can't wear my lip ring next year, however no chance of that happening, I will compromise somehow. But I'm too strong minded to let someone, however professional and renowned they are, tell me how I should look.

My parents have come to accept that I will do what I want to my body, and that was the biggest challenge of my young life so far! So I'm not giving this up!

To be fair this little rant has made me feel a little bit more empowered. And I'm feeling a little better.

The way I look and style myself does not have any effect on my mind, nor the way I work, OR my intellect. So here's a giant F.U to the ideal perfect little Miss. I'm not going to conform to your stereotypes!

All hail the body piercer, the tattooist, the crazy hair dye colours, alternative music, head banging, drinking lager, dirty festivals and everything they told us NOT to do.

In a bitch x

Short and Sweet ... Not So Much...

I haven't written for a while, so think I best publish just a little post =]

Well, the last few weeks of my life - went to see Thirty Seconds to Mars a week gone Friday - fucking amazing! I will admit, I was slightly worried when I learnt that Jared had shaved his head and given himself a mohawk - but he was still BEAUTIFUL!!! And I can't even describe how fantastic they were, best gig I've been to, EVER!

Then the following day Louise came back to Lincoln with me =] good times, was just about due for some good old fashioned girly time! Got drunk, laughed, bitched and moaned about life in general! And it felt damn good to get some shit off both our chests! Unfortunately we both had to go back to reality on Wednesday - starting with my unsuccessful trip to court...

So I have done an assignment on capital punishment, and thought hey! I'll get an interview with someone from the Crown Court - legal knowledge and all that! So I rang up a week before, arranged it for 9.15 Weds morning. Despite I knew full well I'd be £ounded on Tuesday night! I wake up, still slightly drunk! Get to the court for this annoying bland clerk woman to be like: "oh, well we can't comment on anything like that. We can't even give you information on it - we're not legally trained." So the fuckers got me up at STUPID O'CLOCK, to tell me no! Then she had the audacity to ask me to advertise a 'talk for students' for her!

Come to think of it I have totally forgotten about that, and lost her contact details. Oh well, I'm sure she can 118 the University's number and ring herself...lazy bitch.

Ok so this isn't as short as I expected it to be. Currently sat in my room, 11.45 on a Sunday night, BORED out my head. And totally fucked with uni! Assignments left, right and center! Supposed to have an original news story ready for the news day tomorrow - can we just acknowledge that we will not know tomorrows news until TOMORROW?! And there's only one good story, about the World Cup Trophy coming to Sincil Bank, and I wonder how many people will be covering THAT tomorrow?

May genuinely try to do some work...after taking a sleeping pill of course! That plus work will surely knock me out until 10am tomorrow!

Anyway, now I appear to be simply bitching about my life. And nobody wants to read about THAT! So I shall leave you once again, until I have something more productive, and perhaps uplifting, to blog about =]

Inabit ;]

Fucking Valentines Day

Now, don't judge me - I'm not being bitter...I'm pondering, as it were.

Photo: Parvin ♣

So we all know that if we're sickeningly loved up (is it obvious I am not?) then we totally love this commercialised day of the year. We will quite happily spend unnecessary amounts of money on giant, love heart covered, gooey cards; Along with giant teddies and flowers that will all but die in a few days time. Just a quick thought - why is everything magnified on this celebratory day? Maybe to allow those that need to compensate for something the chance to do so? ;) 'lol'. And we don't care that it's all a bit daft, because it's a silly opportunity to show the one we love just how much, and of course, it's not just teddies and flowers that get thrown around on this gracious day.

Some take it to the next level, and go away on city breaks to spend 'quality' time together - some are more honest and call it what it really is - a dirty weekend away ;). And some even concrete their feelings - and propose *Vomit*. So if you're batting for the other team (in the relationship sense, not the homosexual one) then this is possibly one of the best days of the year. However...

If you're not, and are unfortunately left single, alone, weepy, and possibly devouring junk-food on this day; then the idea of couples and love and cards and teddies makes you positively sick to the back teeth. And you resent every couple you see. Now don't get me wrong, this is totally not my feeling - well, not completely. Having spent a Valentines day with my lovely flatmates, who are in the same position as me (apart from the lesbians - but they came along too) I can't help but reflect on the side of our personality that this day brings out in most.

Before you make the judgement that I am bitter, sick and plain jealous - just let me say. We have spent almost all day laughing at our situation of lack of boyfriend, It's a good thing we can laugh - otherwise we'd have spent the day tucked under our duvet's listening to 'Ultimate Love Ballads' or watching 'The Notebook' and wanting to die! We even set up a comedy situation, of walking into a restaurant, and asking for a table for one, around all the couples out for their 'V-day' meal. Then having someone ring them, and for Beyonce's 'All the single ladies' to blare out, over the Michael Buble shit or whatever they're playing.

I also speculated on the idea of running into the busy restaurant, and shouting 'RATS!', or even taking it to the next level and catching some mice to let loose in it! Thank you Sophie Morris there, for your input to my sadistic plans! Basically, we took a trip to 'Yo-Yo's' for the legendary 'all-you-can-fit-in-a-box' deal - walking around stuffing Chinese food into a plastic container whilst the happy couples gorged themselves full of spring rolls and lemon chicken - eurgh! The bottom line was a couple that were aged around 10! This is when me and Sophie decided that something needed to be done! Either the kids stop dating, or we start looking harder for 'Mr Right'.

OK, going slightly off-topic here. The point of this post was to examine the point of Valentines day. In my opinion, every day should be an excuse to show the one you're with just how much you love them. Regardless of commercialised bullshit, the majority just go to 'Card Factory' anyway! I can't speak for how my opinion would alter was I with someone on this 'special' day of the year, but I know that I'd do what I could to break away from the norm, I hate falling into a huge stereotype of what everyone else does. I am guilty of having the soppy, lovey-dovey 'V-day' last year, and to be honest - Not impressed. That could be down to the company turning out to be a complete twat. But also to the fact that it was so similar to everyone else. It leaves nothing for conversation with friends after - as the odds are - you did and received the same thing!

I guess I'll just leave you with this thought - as now I have this off my chest, I can sleep soundly until the 10am wake-up call for my three hour workshop!

If Valentines day is the time of the year to be with the one you love, and show them that they're the one for you. Then why have this day at all - surely everyday should be Valentines day. Because when you're with the one you love...nothing else matters - and no card, teddy or Elizabeth Duke necklace can show your loved one, just how much they mean to you. Surely time, effort, patience and companionship should shape the relationship - and that is worth far more, than one thousand red roses.

Beautiful Songs...

Ok, not really classifying this as a 'post'. But been listening to a few tunes, and although they're the kind that make you think, and usually lead to upset, they are beautiful.
Apologies for the 'Twilight' haters, but most of these are coming from Twilight! But give them a chance...amazing songs =] ...



xbrianaxbiohazard1 (30/12/08)



lilmonkeyfan (6/1/09)



cullen4eva (19/12/08)



Damienrice (2/1/09)

So...We decided to get drunk. (Ring of Fire and Poetry)

Hey there!

Long time no speak! How frustrating for all my avid readers =/ 'lol'! Well, it's been a week or so since my last post, and to be fair - ALOT has happened, but a little too much to fit into one blog post. Or at least too much that I can't be arsed to write it all down!

So let's go with the low down. We started uni again, and the stress levels have already began to rise! Bad times all round! But have been getting assignments back from last semester, and I don't seem to be failing epically, so I guess that's something! I did my first open day as well...with my next one this weekend. Which was definitely fun (Y) - and I have a claim to fame, my name published in the LSJ Newsletter *mini-wave and celebration to me*. Of course I am aware that it's hardly national press - but every little helps eh?

Generally it's been a wicked start to the semester, the girls from my flat are all spending more time together - resulting in messy nights out in Scream and Engine Shed and wherever else we stumble into. We're even spending ridiculous amounts of time just watching film after film in the kitchen, and having a bloody good laugh at the same time! So every thing's pretty much sparkly and clean over this way, people getting on, and if they're not - just getting on with it. And whilst on the topic of the flat, I must thank my flatmate - who shall not be named - for being experimental with certain substances. Even though it resulted in a 4.30am bedtime for me this morning (and a 9am lecture also) You provided great amusement, and I'm also thankful that in your smacked up state you gave me permission to film you with my video camera..."That's a keeper" ;]

I've touched on the subject of getting drunk, so now, attention must be paid to the failed, but epic, journalism night out last Saturday (30/1)

So, we planned it, and a grand total of 3 of us actually went out together, but met with others in Eshed so it was OK =] We started at my flat, with some of my trusty piss-head flatmates, and delved into drinking games at around 8.30pm. Now, I'm not one to judge, but looking at this objectively, I doubt it was a good idea. Ring of Fire - which is IMMENSE, yet deadly, pretty much fucked everyone up for the evening. And then a few rounds of 'Ride the Bus' (Thanks Deffers) finished the rest off! My toilet seat was on the bathroom floor, Matt's phone was in the toilet, another person was taking rude pictures, and the other was having a nervous breakdown in the corner of the hallway. Nonetheless, we made it to Eshed, after the five minute walk talking around 20! Danced the night away, drank more, and eventually lost each other - but had an epically awesome night.

This is pointless, but I'm going to blog it anyway, because I can =]

I'm starting a new venture to increase the chance of actually having long hair sometime in the future. Taking a leaf out of trusty flatmate, Sophie Morris's book, I've began the regime of pinning up my hair - so it looks like I have a bob-type thing) in order to encourage healthy hair growth. By not blow drying or straightening it, hopefully it will grow quicker. And I can have pretty long hair, rather than hair that doesn't quite know what length it is. The only downside is, it's already pissing me off, I started yesterday (1/2) so I have a benchmark, and I really need to persevere. Give it a good few months, ready for summer! And I should have the results I want =D

Now, this is possibly the most random part of my blog - but until I have a real topic that I can really get into, you're stuck with this type of shit ^^. So, apologies, but here goes the next random bollocks - but you'll still read it, because now you're intrigued =]

Photo: Paparuchas (2008)

Talking to my very, very dear friend the other day - Louise Housley, and we got onto some random topics about hobbies and stuff, and - as I kind of write poems when I'm stressed/upset/bored/fucked off etc - she suggested that I post them on here...now - not expecting a reaction. But I want to say I've done it! So I've picked one of the less personal/mentally disturbing ones, for publication....here goes:

Tranquility. Or am I still here?

People are talking, smiling, crying. I hear nothing.

The wind whistles past my ears, in a feeble attempt.

An attempt to bring me back down, down to reality.

Down to what I know, down to what is true.

The world spinning beneath my feet, uncontrollably.

Unstoppable.

Connect the stars into something I remember. Failure.

Trapped here in this limbo. I feel nothing.

Every day, and every night. Unhealthy tears drain from my tired eyes.

Like acid, causing pain wherever they land. Igniting my skin.

I so much miss how I used to feel. True, weightless happiness.

Memories causing smiles, instead of cries.

Will that distant feeling ever return? The one of positivity?

Can a shattered heart learn to trust again?

Slow motion dancers, and soundless singers. I see nothing.

This dementia, this insomnia. This perfect Hell.

Nuggets Everywhere feat. Mr Touchy Feelalot, Toxic Fumes and Groin Strain

Well, it's been a few days - and what an eventful few days they have been! And who am I to hold back a little bit of gossip ;)

So, we'll start our tale on Thursday night...What was going to be a quiet night in, after we were all exhausted with stupid O'Clock bedtimes! And in all fairness, we were in bed by around 1am. Then, who should walk through the fucking door but Sean and his friend 'Elliott'...Shitfaced. Myself, Sarah and Sophie were NOT happy bunnies. We left it for a good 15 minutes before I heard Sarah (from the room next door) shouting for him to "Shut the fuck up!". At this point, me and Sophie emerged, along with Sarah, to find what can only be described as a drunken monstrosity wandering around our corridor in Primark-looking boxers and an un-buttoned shirt. Well...this had disaster written ALL over it!

Don't get me wrong, it was amusing for around 10 minutes...until he became very friendly with his 'little friend'. In front of us! SERIOUSLY! Both hands, down his boxers...There's drunk, then there's plain old masturbation! Eurgh! So we all run to the other side of the hallway, screaming and laughing, avoiding tears! This goes on for a further half an hour, because Sean kindly leaves us alone with him whilst going to talk to some mates. By the time he arrives back, we are sat on the floor, yelling at Elliott to 'LEAVE THE PHONE ALONE!' and, 'PUT THAT MILK BACK! IT ISN'T YOURS!'. By this time, Elliott is 'semi-aroused', and we also make a timely, yet horrifying discovery, his lovely boxers have...'stains' on the back - I don't need to lower the tone and describe what I mean! Double-eurgh! Eventually we get him to go to bed, and that ended out night...unfortunately causing me to sleep in Friday morning, and resulting in having half an hour to get ready and to Uni for the open day..Bad times!

So, Friday's open day - goes very well. Just sit around and chat to Journalism applicants, all us first years understand, as it wasn't even a year ago that we were doing that! The day finishes at about 5, off to Spar for some booze and on to the flat to get ready for 'Girls Night Out' =]

We hit Scream at about 11, packed out for 'Cheese Night' - Double vodka Redbulls at £2, and Sambuca for £1.50! Get in there my Son! *said in cockney accent*. We get absolutely SMASHED! And one of our group, who cannot be named for embarrassment reasons...pulls =] which is all well and good. I won't go into much detail, as this isn't fair. But we went to sleep at 7am...Thanks Paul ;] As the story unfolded in the wee hours of Saturday morning, Sophie's up-chuck reflex was pushed past it's limit, as the McDonald's Chicken McNuggets ended up in her toilet! Let's just be glad she made it to the toilet! Cleaning up meaty sick is one of a vegetarians' top 10 fears!

We spent our Saturday in the flat, then the Quayside watching the Leeds match, and as we had a bit of the old 'hair of the dog', decided to hit the town again =] We made our way to Scream at around half 11 - DEAD! So we go with the ever faithful, Walkabout - It never let's us down! Fairly uneventful night out, just getting drunk and dancing...It was this evening that the final drama of the weekend took place...

I wake up at about 4 this afternoon - not even hungover sleep, pure being knackered sleep! And for most of the evening, we chill in Sophie's room, watching movies and so on. Until...The other Sophie (from my flat) decides she wants tea .. Vegetarian Cottage Pie to be precise. Now, we all make mistakes with cooking instructions - but this was a genuine fuck-up on the company's part. It clearly stated on the packaging to 'Remove outer packaging (the cardboard), remove film and place on the middle shelf for [however long]'. Well, 15 minutes into the cooking process, I'm making my way back over to the flat, only to have the door opened for me, and be greeted by a wall of toxic smoke - caused by melted/burned plastic! Every one's out in the corridor coughing and laughing and being generally confused, then we realise that the smoke detectors may go off, in which case our two adjoining blocks may be evacuated. And in this case, we may become the most hated people in Brayford Quay until someone else causes a fire drill. Luckily there's some form of switchboard in the security office, which, although prevents an automatic alarm, causes the security guard to run up, in our case, 7 flights of stairs - as the lifts disable themselves. Sorry John =/

Luckily , although he was very out of breath, concerned, and after we explained, pissed off, there was no need for an evacuation - Good times!

So there you have it, a generally generalised round-up of what is possibly the most eventful weekend since beginning Uni =] And now, as I'm about to sign off, the anticipation of tomorrow begins, the start of semester. Back to reality, back to bunking off lectures and back to 4am essays!

In a bit =]

x

6am and Scaffolding...What Random Lives We Lead!

And as I lay in bed, in the ungodly hours of this morning, I couldn't help but wonder - Why does uni always FUCK UP your sleeping pattern? Now, don't get me wrong, providing I have fuck all to do that day, by all means bring on the ridiculous bedtime. But I really don't think I've had a decent nights sleep since I moved here last September...a decent days sleep however ;)



But in the same token, where would we be without being nocturnal? If we [students] slept like normal human beings, we'd have no random drunken conversation, no noise disturbance letters from our accommodation offices, no deep thinking sessions where you create the most amazing things ever (extreme musical chairs!). We'd just stop having fun! And what is the point of university without these nocturnal antics? Well...apart from that degree thingy we keep writing essays for, nothing.


The more I think about it the more I realise that students really are a whole different species of being - we don't speak normally, we don't eat normally, we don't drink normally (at least within the definition of normal by the NHS), we don't sleep normally, we don't even look normal - and the best part? We don't give a FUCK. It's our right, as we dig ourselves deeper and deeper into debt from loans and overdrafts - We are allowed to do what we want =] within reason, hell - even theft is almost legal for us! *Shopping trolley anyone?*

And onto my next topic - I'm an extremely happy bunny today, I got my new piercing =] And for £20 aswell! Scaffolding (or industrial) is the two piercings in the top of your ear, with one long bar joining them... See above for those who don't know =]

So, I've had several types of piercing, and this was my first cartilidge one...I am not ashamed to say that I, well, I did not scream ... but say 'ouch' very loudly and groan a little .. yes. At the end of the day a lady was shoving a needle from one side of my ear to the other. 2 holes in one go! I handled it well - and as always, thinking about what I want next =]

Of course, the only downside now - I will be sleeping on my right side for the forseeable future - and pinning back my hair until I stop flinching at the thought of brushing my hair behind my ear and catching the bar... I'm sure I'll survive.

Also, have an open day tomorrow - must finalise the Facebook presentation and get an early night. Be in uni by 8.30am?? Wow - they are thinking wishfully! But hopefully, the 'sleep aid' next to me will help with this =] So, I shall sign off, the flatmates are filling latex gloves with water...this can only mean comedy! So I'm off to go cause some havoc on the streets below my flat...toodles xx

When I grow up, I want to be....

A recent conversation has sparked the inspiration for this post...when I grow up...what the hell am I going to be?

Ok, so journalism - The possibilities are endless! But four months in, and nothings really jumping out at me...Apart from the practical - TV and Radio. I still have a thirst for media full stop, to become an editor, or a producer...or even a screenwriter! Who knows. But I love writing WAY too much!

From my adolescence I've said that I would write a book. Something real, something true. Something maybe SO true that it worries people, or becomes disturbed...Less of the metaphors that people live their lives through - and more hard, raw, in your face, graphical truth. God knows, I've been there and done that! I want to write something that will give hope to another person, to make them feel that someone, somewhere understands what they're going through. Whether it be bullying (*Spits*), boys, bitching or the transition into new societies within secondary school and beyond.

There just comes the slight issue of...getting noticed. As if it isn't enough that I am completely SHIT SCARED to even contemplate handing my stuff over to a publisher, the odds are I'd get turned away for one reason or another anyway! But I try to be more positive than this...I've had too many downfalls - along with my successes however - to let more things stand in the way of what I want. I've got all my ideas - but not the words just yet...

Also, now comes the research - everything's already been done, it's the personal twang you put in your own work that makes it worth noticing - Or will I be labelled as looking for sympathy? Boo-hoo for me, I've gone through all this shit and now I'm complaining? Or would people actually get it, and appreciate it's raw truth. Could I handle people knowing the raw truth? This is something I don't know the answer to, but one day, I will.

So if any of you guys know any way to combat this problem, please speak up =] it will be greatly appreciated! Until then, it shall be simply my head, and my Microsoft Word documents, that gain access to these semi-manuscripts.

Today the town, tomorrow the world eh?

Semester B - Paraletic and Piercings

As a person that does love piercings and tattoos, I will always fight the corner that they're not 'common' - but an expression of individuality. As my collection of body modifications grows, I take it upon myself to be present when flatmates get their body piercings virginity taken =] And yesterday, I took Kate (yes the Kate with the stories from before).

So we go for some retail therapy in Lincoln city, and to my all time favourite shop (when I have money!) Blue Banana! Who also do tattoos and piercings, Kate's dying to get it done, so we book her in - and I take her for a big, fat, carb-loaded MacDonalds, as she won't be eating for several days! And we meet Sophie and Laura, and go =]

What feels like an hour later, the bar is in. And the speech impediment begins! It's ok though, the swelling should be gone by tomorrow. We are getting amusment by giving her 's' words to say, and tongue twisters. She is however going through the 're-birth', learning how to swallow and eat again! Next time, nose stud =] for me, not poor Kate <3

And in proper fashion, the drunken times have started in full force at Brayford Quay! Last night, with a surprise visit from my best friends from home, and a classic sleepover! Waking up at 3pm today with a slight headache, and a full bottle of Strongbow left - I know i'm back where I belong! Three more nights out planned, and several flat parties to crash - Going to be an epic year. Until the 25th when uni starts again!

The age of online shopping is upon us too! After I sign off from here, I'll be heading over to tesco.com, or maybe Asda...I'd rather pay a delivery fee than leave the flat, unless to go downstairs for various reasons!

It must be logged, I bought the most gorgeous boots yesterday! And bag! I love them so much!

Now, off to re-arrange my room, and take my matress back from my friends room. And start looking for a job! Bad times!

Check back =] x

Ian Watkins Infatuation...

As if I couldn't fall any deeper in love with the lyrical genius that is Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets - I just fell some more! The Betrayed, I can't stop listening to it! My iPod is going to be attached to my ears for the forseeable future! Lostprophets = Musical genius's!

The voice! I can't quite figure out what about his voice that I adore...It's just different, and his tone and pronounciation! 'OMG'! I could quite happily live the rest of my life and only listen to this group! =] Obvious shout outs to lead guitar, Lee Gaze, Bass, Stuart Richardson, Rhythm Guitar, Mike Lewis, Drums and Percussion Ilan Rubin until last year, and now Luke Johnson...Rather ever changing band members! All are awesome musicians though!

How anyone can say these are not talented people? And 'slag' off their work? Ignorance! I've had many a debate with old 'friends' who have complained about the 'aggressive' nature of the music - obviously not taken the time to listen to a full album and take notice of the lyrics! Of course it's not for everyone, this is the point of music, is it not? And the stereotype that comes with it! JESUS CHRIST! We wear what we want! I don't approach Chav's to ask them to wear their hat correctly, or un-tuck their trackies from their socks! Much as I don't complain to 'Goths' or whichever other name you can come up with to change their shoes, as these are too 'platformy and buckle-bound'!

I guess the point of this post is to defend the music I love, and applaud the beautiful album! I can't remember the last time I was THIS excited about buying a new abum! Apart from of course 30 Seconds To Mars's 'This Is War'. Which is going to be EPIC when I see them this February!

Now, the time comes to sign off. Down to the pub to shoot some pool - and blatently end up making a show of myself by trying to be clever, hitting the ball off the table and smashing a bottle of vodka behind the bar - I'm THAT clumsy!

Thanks for reading =] x

For Real.

So, 4th time lucky? The blonde gene in my nature truly comes out with anything remotely out of the ordinary for me. And believe it or not, a blog is new and unusual to me =].

So this is the for real blog - the email, title, username and password have even been written down! This is commitment right here! It's taken me several hours, stresses and cigarettes to realise there's no way in hell I'm getting my latest blog back - thus the re-start. We'll be fine (Y).

Well I guess I better make this first post half decent eh? I would appreciate followers!

Okay, well been back in Lincoln for nearly two days now - It's scary how quickly I've settled back into student life - already - 4am and I'm writing a blog, avoiding sleeping, contemplating what to spend my loan on tomorrow and drinking coca-cola from the bottle =/

It doesn't get any better than this ...

I must log memoirs of last nights antics - legendary, as always with the 'Lincoln Crew'. I discovered a new shot - 'Flatliner' - courtesy of the cute guy behind the bar in walkabout, a feeble excuse to flirt a little - resulted in a freaking fire in my mouth! Sambuca - gorgeous, Tequila - gorgeous, tobasco - meh...Good shot...not for the ones who order the lesser spicy food at the takeaway!

And as a per-usual evening with the girls, far too much money was spent in dear old Ritzy, along with Chicken Cottage drunk food (dixie pidgeon to those who know what the hell they put in their food!) Although obviously, being vegetarian I went without =] And managed a 7.30am bedtime.

All in all a successful night =] However with a few blunders I won't publish on the world wide web for the sake of my dear friend, and drunken menace, Kate =] - the memories are still there for our giggles...and Kate's cringes!

So that's pretty much all I have to say - with any form of substance anyway! Providing I don't lose this login there shall be more posts to follow!

Watch this space xx