"White sparrows fell from Heaven and carried her away, Black arrows cut the strings of my heart, I kneel and pray".
Billy Talent
It's quite hard for me to put into words what is actually bothering me. Because by my own traditional standards - if we're going down this route - I'm genuinely on a high. But to be honest, things are niggling at me and it's getting increasingly hard to ignore them.
For starters I'm almost falling behind with uni, but that's because I've had an emotionally up and down week, and the thought of 'Analysing and Working in Media Industries' and 'Representing Reality' made me thoroughly ill! The point is, I'm flying through my script, and my documentary is developing well...So uni isn't my greatest peeve at the moment.
Okay then, cut to the chase. Head-fucked. Without naming names, even though it's completely obvious who I mean if anyone I'm close with reads this. But who reads these silly little posts eh? I guess it wouldn't matter if I broadcast names, pictures or bloody mobile numbers on here. No one would be any the wiser!
Basically I really don't know how I'm supposed to feel right now. Nor do I have any inkling of what the person concerned is thinking, feeling, wanting... And to be honest, I don't think I'm ever going to find out. Which is really shit, but I guess that happens, right?
In all honesty, I'm just trying to lose myself in my character, Lola. Things are so much worse for her that I guess I should be grateful! I swore to myself I wouldn't get myself into a situation like this, EVER AGAIN. But silly, naive me has gone and done it again. It doesn't help that people around me are either annoying the fuck out of me, or going through stuff also - which I'm scared is going to have an adverse effect on me. I must also stress that the aforementioned fuckwits are not my flatmates...Incase one of you have found your way here.
Well. I guess that's it for now. Not a happy Lauren at this moment in time, but I have my early birthday this weekend, Jared Leto's beautiful face in 2 days, and Halloween for my belated birthday in two weeks =].
Over&Out
